"He thought he was the king of somewhere-not-America..."

Patriotic mini-rant: NOW.

Why? Why do you hip kids think it's necessary to rag on my country? Snorting about the excesses and selfishness of 'those yahoos' in your best faux-Continental accent? Secretly thinking how you're so privileged to have such a Blue-state mentality and joking (over and over and over and over) how you're going to move to Canada.

Ah yes, lovely Canada, with their non-existent foreign policy, useless socialized medicine, and porous border. Good choice, eh?

I mean, you've got reasons, sure. I get that. You'd NEVER make fun of a group of people for no reason--that would be bigotry, and that's completely removed from your progressive worldview. ahem.

So you hate Bush? Great. Good for you. Make fun of the Administration--not my America.

You hate Bush voters? Bring it on. But that means you hate 51% of the electorate--not my America.

You hate our foreign policy? Righteous. Protest. Picket. Write letters and petitions. But address them to the people who make the policy decisions--not to my America.

You hate rednecks, "cowboys," "inbreds," backwards (non-liberal) thinkers, Southern red-staters, and Southern Baptists? Kudos to you and your tolerant lifestyle. Aim your venom at everyone south of the Mason-Dixon line--not at my America.

You hate evil corporations who crush the small businessman and the common joe scraping to get by? Awesome! Hand me a picket sign! Let's go protest those shiny buildings over there, or those corporate estates--not my America.

Please hear me, my beautiful, progressive, anti-establishment, coffee-swilling, anti-corporate, blue-minded, bleeding-heart brothers and sisters!!! I love you and value your opinion. I revel in your right to free speech! I applaud your commitment to a value-based worldview (even if I don't always share those values)!

But when you take aim with your Weapons of Mass Denigration, make sure to aim them at your actual targets.

And not at my America.

America is not just Bush. America is not just Conservatives. America is not just Southern Baptists.

America is everyone. Every political belief. Every social cause. Every religious practice. Every sexual orientation. Every race. Every creed. They are America. We are America.

So back the hell off.