Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Friday, September 25, 2009
Linky-Love When September Ends...
(a little early, but i wanted to make the reference anyway)
Lots of links, so let's set these up by category!
TEN MUSICAL PARODIES, MASH-UPS, AND BITS O' SILLINESS FROM "TBT"
1) Nirvana + Rick Astley
2) Beastie Boys + Rush
3) Indiana Jones + Counting Crows
4) Billy Joel + The Office
5) "Fresh Prince" Theme + Folk Music
6) Beatles + Led Zepplin
7) Verve Pipe + College Overeating
8) Shakespeare + Metal
9) MC skillz + pre-flight announcements
10) Superman Theme + Church Organ
FIVE COOL STORIES THAT HAPPEN TO BE TRUE
1) Medical researchers announce that the appendix is not a vestigal organ and actually has useful purposes. The Intelligent Designer of Human Anatomy chuckles to himself.
2) Imagine finding out that you are part of an immortalized piece of American photographic art.
3) The tragic and redemptive journey of NBA "washout" David Vaughn.
4) The story of a college student unable to pay tuition, and a pastor who gathered a community of support around him to help out. Way to go, Christians.
5) Man uses monkey mask to avoid getting speeding tickets from photographic speed-traps.
5 THINGS I OUGHTA SPEND SOME TIME AND WRITE A REAL POST ABOUT (BUT WON'T)
1) A bloody and disturbing PSA about texting while driving, that was released in the UK last month. I think it's worth watching, but it is pretty graphic, so some readers may not want to see it. The question the article poses is, Will this keep people from texting while driving? [Answer: No, because I still text or check email while driving once in a while, even though I know better and am trying to quit the habit.]
2) David Bazan's journey away from faith. (He formerly sang in the band Pedro the Lion. Here's his latest.)
3) The NIV bible is getting another language update, including some slight changes to the gender language uses.
4) This moving and thoughtful article about miscarriage and loss.
5) How kids deal with sharing their birthday with an American tragedy.
10+ THINGS THAT ARE ONLY COOL IF YOU'RE GEEKY ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE THEM
1) The viral campaign for the Sherlock Holmes movie kicked off last month.
2) Top 70 most iconic panels from Marvel comics, according to "Comics Should Be Good."
3) Tonight's the season premiere of "Smallville" (woot!), so here's Tom Welling's take on the new season.
4) The Fine Brothers give 100 TV spoilers from shows past and present. (Do I even need to add "SPOILER ALERT!" to this one?)
5) PASTE Magazine creates a playlist dedicated to the marriage of doughy-faced Death Cabber Ben Gibbard to the lovely (If-Only-She-Were-Mrs.-Teacherdave-Instead) Zooey Deschanel.
6) Literary tattoos. Enough said.
7) Number One on the "Things I Wish Were Real" list (Video Game Edition): Mega Man in 3D!
8) XKCD is now in book form!
9) Fine, I'll go ahead and say it: I think LOLCats is sometimes pretty funny. So?
10) More TBT geeky song links!
Lots of links, so let's set these up by category!
TEN MUSICAL PARODIES, MASH-UPS, AND BITS O' SILLINESS FROM "TBT"
1) Nirvana + Rick Astley
2) Beastie Boys + Rush
3) Indiana Jones + Counting Crows
4) Billy Joel + The Office
5) "Fresh Prince" Theme + Folk Music
6) Beatles + Led Zepplin
7) Verve Pipe + College Overeating
8) Shakespeare + Metal
9) MC skillz + pre-flight announcements
10) Superman Theme + Church Organ
FIVE COOL STORIES THAT HAPPEN TO BE TRUE
1) Medical researchers announce that the appendix is not a vestigal organ and actually has useful purposes. The Intelligent Designer of Human Anatomy chuckles to himself.
2) Imagine finding out that you are part of an immortalized piece of American photographic art.
3) The tragic and redemptive journey of NBA "washout" David Vaughn.
4) The story of a college student unable to pay tuition, and a pastor who gathered a community of support around him to help out. Way to go, Christians.
5) Man uses monkey mask to avoid getting speeding tickets from photographic speed-traps.
5 THINGS I OUGHTA SPEND SOME TIME AND WRITE A REAL POST ABOUT (BUT WON'T)
1) A bloody and disturbing PSA about texting while driving, that was released in the UK last month. I think it's worth watching, but it is pretty graphic, so some readers may not want to see it. The question the article poses is, Will this keep people from texting while driving? [Answer: No, because I still text or check email while driving once in a while, even though I know better and am trying to quit the habit.]
2) David Bazan's journey away from faith. (He formerly sang in the band Pedro the Lion. Here's his latest.)
3) The NIV bible is getting another language update, including some slight changes to the gender language uses.
4) This moving and thoughtful article about miscarriage and loss.
5) How kids deal with sharing their birthday with an American tragedy.
10+ THINGS THAT ARE ONLY COOL IF YOU'RE GEEKY ENOUGH TO APPRECIATE THEM
1) The viral campaign for the Sherlock Holmes movie kicked off last month.
2) Top 70 most iconic panels from Marvel comics, according to "Comics Should Be Good."
3) Tonight's the season premiere of "Smallville" (woot!), so here's Tom Welling's take on the new season.
4) The Fine Brothers give 100 TV spoilers from shows past and present. (Do I even need to add "SPOILER ALERT!" to this one?)
5) PASTE Magazine creates a playlist dedicated to the marriage of doughy-faced Death Cabber Ben Gibbard to the lovely (If-Only-She-Were-Mrs.-Teacherdave-Instead) Zooey Deschanel.
6) Literary tattoos. Enough said.
7) Number One on the "Things I Wish Were Real" list (Video Game Edition): Mega Man in 3D!
8) XKCD is now in book form!
9) Fine, I'll go ahead and say it: I think LOLCats is sometimes pretty funny. So?
10) More TBT geeky song links!
Friday, September 18, 2009
PBB Capsule Movie Reviews: 9
Starring the voices of Elijah Wood, John C. Reilly, and others
[Trailer]
This is a visually beautiful film, and that alone makes it worth seeing at least once. Unfortunately, the storyline doesn't tell anything particularly new or innovative, and the plot is episodic and video-gamey, so it doesn't justify your full nine bucks at the multiplex. Also, it contains scary and disturbing images, and several tense moments, so if you take children to see it, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Don't do that. There are a lot of really interesting conceptual ideas presented here, and I really wish that more care would have been given during pre-production to developing and thinking through the narrative backbone of the film. Unfortunately, it's clear this was rushed through as soon as the two famed producers signed on, because the rushed result is a lot of rehashed ideas thrown in a blender with some really neat action set-pieces and a muddled, uninspired ending. I noticed several "off-ramps" where the plot could have gone in different and more interesting directions, but instead chose to stay on target and barrel on toward a predictable ending. However, I will say that this sense of familiarity played well during the dread-filled (not at all dreadful) "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" sequence.
Final Verdict: I'm not sorry I saw this beautiful, creepy, but sadly predictable little fable. Definitely worth your Netflix queue slot, dollar at Redbox, or buck-fifty at the second-run movie theater.
[Trailer]
This is a visually beautiful film, and that alone makes it worth seeing at least once. Unfortunately, the storyline doesn't tell anything particularly new or innovative, and the plot is episodic and video-gamey, so it doesn't justify your full nine bucks at the multiplex. Also, it contains scary and disturbing images, and several tense moments, so if you take children to see it, YOU ARE AN IDIOT. Don't do that. There are a lot of really interesting conceptual ideas presented here, and I really wish that more care would have been given during pre-production to developing and thinking through the narrative backbone of the film. Unfortunately, it's clear this was rushed through as soon as the two famed producers signed on, because the rushed result is a lot of rehashed ideas thrown in a blender with some really neat action set-pieces and a muddled, uninspired ending. I noticed several "off-ramps" where the plot could have gone in different and more interesting directions, but instead chose to stay on target and barrel on toward a predictable ending. However, I will say that this sense of familiarity played well during the dread-filled (not at all dreadful) "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" sequence.
Final Verdict: I'm not sorry I saw this beautiful, creepy, but sadly predictable little fable. Definitely worth your Netflix queue slot, dollar at Redbox, or buck-fifty at the second-run movie theater.
PBB Capsule Movie Reviews: The Time Traveller's Wife
Starring Eric Bana and Rachel McAdams (and Ron Livingston for, like, three scenes)
[Trailer]
If you watch the trailer, you pretty much get the gist of the movie. I was willing to give it a chance, and the fact of the matter is, if Rachel McAdams filmed her last five trips to the grocery store, I'd probably be interested in watching it. She's just gorgeous. Unfortunately, the grocery-store idea would have been more compelling than Time Traveller's Wife, which ultimately didn't say anything about the human condition or the eternal power of love or any other cliched theme you hoped would appear to give the actors something worthwhile to do or say. Instead, the movie did its best to completely sidestep any of the thorny implications that any sci-fi nerd knows are inevitable when discussing time travel. Further, there were moments of potential drama that were glossed over so nonchalantly that I was getting frustrated with the film. Then I realized my problem: taking the film to be anything other than a cash-in on the sappy, romantic, Nicholas-Sparks-loving demographic. And as someone who appreciates a decently-constructed chick flick, when even I'm disappointed you know there's a problem.
Final Verdict: Just pretend you've travelled into the future to the point where you've already seen the movie, and don't bother going to the theater.
[Trailer]
If you watch the trailer, you pretty much get the gist of the movie. I was willing to give it a chance, and the fact of the matter is, if Rachel McAdams filmed her last five trips to the grocery store, I'd probably be interested in watching it. She's just gorgeous. Unfortunately, the grocery-store idea would have been more compelling than Time Traveller's Wife, which ultimately didn't say anything about the human condition or the eternal power of love or any other cliched theme you hoped would appear to give the actors something worthwhile to do or say. Instead, the movie did its best to completely sidestep any of the thorny implications that any sci-fi nerd knows are inevitable when discussing time travel. Further, there were moments of potential drama that were glossed over so nonchalantly that I was getting frustrated with the film. Then I realized my problem: taking the film to be anything other than a cash-in on the sappy, romantic, Nicholas-Sparks-loving demographic. And as someone who appreciates a decently-constructed chick flick, when even I'm disappointed you know there's a problem.
Final Verdict: Just pretend you've travelled into the future to the point where you've already seen the movie, and don't bother going to the theater.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
A Different Person Started This Blog
Apparently, the concept of the "seven-year cellular turnover" is a myth. This disappoints me. I really liked the idea of being a completely different person, at the most basic cellular level, than I was when I finished college.
But the fact is, in other ways, in ways that matter, I think I am a good bit different than I was 7 years ago. Want proof?
Today is the seventh anniversary of this blog, formerly called "Anything to Disrupt the Tedium" (or something similar to that).
My first ever post is here.
If you're bored or in need of something to help you sleep, take a peek at the archives. You get to see a lot of my blood and guts and bile and tears and nonsense. I wasn't very good at filtering for the first several years there. Thankfully, the comments have been lost through multiple template changes, so a lot of drama was swept away, and you're just left with my lunatic ravings.
So here's something fun, in honor of the day: Totally Honest Answer Day!
I'll answer, totally honestly, any question asked in my comments today and today only.
(This would be scarier for me if more than four of you read the blog with any regularity.)
Anyway, that's all. Happy blogiversary to me, I guess.
But the fact is, in other ways, in ways that matter, I think I am a good bit different than I was 7 years ago. Want proof?
Today is the seventh anniversary of this blog, formerly called "Anything to Disrupt the Tedium" (or something similar to that).
My first ever post is here.
If you're bored or in need of something to help you sleep, take a peek at the archives. You get to see a lot of my blood and guts and bile and tears and nonsense. I wasn't very good at filtering for the first several years there. Thankfully, the comments have been lost through multiple template changes, so a lot of drama was swept away, and you're just left with my lunatic ravings.
So here's something fun, in honor of the day: Totally Honest Answer Day!
I'll answer, totally honestly, any question asked in my comments today and today only.
(This would be scarier for me if more than four of you read the blog with any regularity.)
Anyway, that's all. Happy blogiversary to me, I guess.
Self-indulgent
I saw a comment on a Youtube video of the revival version of "Company," in which the commenter said this production was "so self-indulgent."
Isn't theatre, at its core, self-indulgent? The whole process is really one big imagination game. The actors often do it as much for themselves as for the audience. Acting isn't a purely altruistic form of expression. It's fun. It's fulfilling. It's thrilling. It strokes the ego.
I suppose the commenter meant to imply that the director/designer/producer was self-indulgent in their creation of this production. But the cheap and easy accusation of "so self-indulgent" is weak on its face because it's theater-critic shorthand, parroted by the overeducated and underwhelmed. A five-word salvo fired off by someone who doesn't have the brains or balls to explain themselves in any way that could be critiqued or defended.
I'm in the mood today to call people on their bullshit. And that comment was. Organic, Grade-A.
Isn't theatre, at its core, self-indulgent? The whole process is really one big imagination game. The actors often do it as much for themselves as for the audience. Acting isn't a purely altruistic form of expression. It's fun. It's fulfilling. It's thrilling. It strokes the ego.
I suppose the commenter meant to imply that the director/designer/producer was self-indulgent in their creation of this production. But the cheap and easy accusation of "so self-indulgent" is weak on its face because it's theater-critic shorthand, parroted by the overeducated and underwhelmed. A five-word salvo fired off by someone who doesn't have the brains or balls to explain themselves in any way that could be critiqued or defended.
I'm in the mood today to call people on their bullshit. And that comment was. Organic, Grade-A.
Tired of Being Sorry
It's a pretty good song by Ringside (later covered by Enrique Iglesias).
Anyway.
I know I'm not blogging the way I said I would. I want to. I want to give you witty movie reviews, a description of my recent karaoke and drive-in experiences, maybe some discussion on what I've been thinking about lately. General bloggy goodness, in other words.
But...I don't know. I think i've grown impatient with trying to draw out the words. I sit down to write a blog post, and almost immediately get overwhelmed by the idea of going over all the details, re-reading it to make sure I didn't make any big grammatical or logical mistakes, polishing up the phrasing. I guess I'm just getting incredibly lazy, when typing a blog post is too daunting some days. Dickens and Shakespeare would roll their eyes in utter disgust.
I'm not a writer anymore. I guess I just have to admit that. And that...really sucks. Because I love stories, and I love telling stories. Being a writer is part of how I self-identify. Or was. For years, I've seen myself as a writer, if lately a back-slidden one.
Now? I don't know what I am. I still want to be a writer. I loved writing, once. I don't know what's happened to change that. Maybe working with words day after day has started to turn me away from it all.
I'm making excuses.
Here's the bottom line: I want to blog. I do... but I don't. So I'm gonna blog when I can, how I can, if I can.
Anyway.
I know I'm not blogging the way I said I would. I want to. I want to give you witty movie reviews, a description of my recent karaoke and drive-in experiences, maybe some discussion on what I've been thinking about lately. General bloggy goodness, in other words.
But...I don't know. I think i've grown impatient with trying to draw out the words. I sit down to write a blog post, and almost immediately get overwhelmed by the idea of going over all the details, re-reading it to make sure I didn't make any big grammatical or logical mistakes, polishing up the phrasing. I guess I'm just getting incredibly lazy, when typing a blog post is too daunting some days. Dickens and Shakespeare would roll their eyes in utter disgust.
I'm not a writer anymore. I guess I just have to admit that. And that...really sucks. Because I love stories, and I love telling stories. Being a writer is part of how I self-identify. Or was. For years, I've seen myself as a writer, if lately a back-slidden one.
Now? I don't know what I am. I still want to be a writer. I loved writing, once. I don't know what's happened to change that. Maybe working with words day after day has started to turn me away from it all.
I'm making excuses.
Here's the bottom line: I want to blog. I do... but I don't. So I'm gonna blog when I can, how I can, if I can.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
Poor, Neglected Ol' Blog
Hello blog.
So yeah, I was good-naturedly ribbed by Kim last week that as soon as I got cable, my blog died. There's truth to that. So I'm gonna fill you in, over the course of three or four posts, on what's been going on with me lately. Nothing earth-shattering, but you may be amused.
So this is the "Hi, I'm not dead, I'm just resting" post.
My status, over the last two weeks, in brief: Work is going pretty well, church well enough, marathon training less well, personal discipline and organization least well. I need to budget time, money, and energy better. And seeing friends from college is always fun. The end.
I don't want to get into it all now--I really need to start working at work. (Crazy idea, right?)
But tonight/tomorrow/Thursday, I'll tell you about karaoke with Mr. Lee and Sushi GEEEEEEEEE!, and about how the best movie I saw over the holiday weekend is the one I'm most ashamed to admit seeing.
Also, here's something lovely:
So yeah, I was good-naturedly ribbed by Kim last week that as soon as I got cable, my blog died. There's truth to that. So I'm gonna fill you in, over the course of three or four posts, on what's been going on with me lately. Nothing earth-shattering, but you may be amused.
So this is the "Hi, I'm not dead, I'm just resting" post.
My status, over the last two weeks, in brief: Work is going pretty well, church well enough, marathon training less well, personal discipline and organization least well. I need to budget time, money, and energy better. And seeing friends from college is always fun. The end.
I don't want to get into it all now--I really need to start working at work. (Crazy idea, right?)
But tonight/tomorrow/Thursday, I'll tell you about karaoke with Mr. Lee and Sushi GEEEEEEEEE!, and about how the best movie I saw over the holiday weekend is the one I'm most ashamed to admit seeing.
Also, here's something lovely:
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Giving in to peer pressure.
Every fall, I face this temptation, and for the last several years, I've hung tough. I've stayed strong. I've resisted temptation.
Today, I gave in.
I am now a cable TV subscriber.
I feel dirty admitting that.
You may be saying, "Dave, it's about time you quit being stubborn about this. I can't believe you haven't had cable for so long!" But the fact is, I've been doing just fine without cable TV for the past two or three years. You may not be aware of this, but they broadcast television shows right now--for free--over the AIR!
I was content in the past, setting my VCR to record 8 television programs (or blocks of programs) each week. I had my six-hour tape ready, and had to watch my shows pretty regularly so I didn't miss anything. It was fine. It was cool. And it was FREE.
However, the "digital conversion" has now thrown a monkey wrench into my plans. Turns out I have to change channels on Uncle Sam's magic black box, so I can't program the VCR. I made do this past spring, by preparing the night before and selecting which channel to record the next day. But now that the digital switchover is complete, it seems like I'm getting less consistent service. And I still can't get CBS. I'm gonna miss Big Bang Theory if i don't address this.
Cable isn't cheap, but it is easy. And having a DVR to record things and watch them at my convenience is really an inviting proposition.
So, out of curiosity, I went over to the cable company's website, and saw that they were also giving away free money for signing up. Free money's pretty inviting too.
So I did it. It's done. And on Thursday night, I'll have glorious, crystal-clear cable television.
My parents will be thrilled--I can stop clogging up their DVR with my shows.
Today, I gave in.
I am now a cable TV subscriber.
I feel dirty admitting that.
You may be saying, "Dave, it's about time you quit being stubborn about this. I can't believe you haven't had cable for so long!" But the fact is, I've been doing just fine without cable TV for the past two or three years. You may not be aware of this, but they broadcast television shows right now--for free--over the AIR!
I was content in the past, setting my VCR to record 8 television programs (or blocks of programs) each week. I had my six-hour tape ready, and had to watch my shows pretty regularly so I didn't miss anything. It was fine. It was cool. And it was FREE.
However, the "digital conversion" has now thrown a monkey wrench into my plans. Turns out I have to change channels on Uncle Sam's magic black box, so I can't program the VCR. I made do this past spring, by preparing the night before and selecting which channel to record the next day. But now that the digital switchover is complete, it seems like I'm getting less consistent service. And I still can't get CBS. I'm gonna miss Big Bang Theory if i don't address this.
Cable isn't cheap, but it is easy. And having a DVR to record things and watch them at my convenience is really an inviting proposition.
So, out of curiosity, I went over to the cable company's website, and saw that they were also giving away free money for signing up. Free money's pretty inviting too.
So I did it. It's done. And on Thursday night, I'll have glorious, crystal-clear cable television.
My parents will be thrilled--I can stop clogging up their DVR with my shows.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Too Much Awesome Not to Share
If you don't immediately recognize what this video is parodying, you need to go out and rent the greatest film ever made by humans.
Thursday, August 13, 2009
"Dear Ron" Letter
(Cross-posted at the Waddling Bison blog)
My dearest Micki D,
We've been together for...ever, really. As long as I can remember, you've been a part of my life. When I was a child, I used to beg my parents to let me go to your house, because lunch with you made me happy, and you always shared your toys.
As I grew, my appetite for your companionship grew as well. My love for you was super-sized, and your affect on me multiplied. Sometimes, in high school, my busy schedule with work and sports kept us from seeing each other so often, and the lack of companionship was as plain to see.
But with college, and especially in the early part of my post-college career, our relationship was renewed, and it deepened daily. I'd stop by and see you in the mornings on my way to work, and sometimes immediately after work, on my way home. You welcomed me at your window, and bestowed your paper-wrapped presents on me.
This affection we shared grew to a deep love, freely refilled day by day. And it's been great, Micki. Really. Believe me when I say, I'm lovin' it.
But something has happened to me. I've started making changes in my life. And I have to confess--I just don't think we can see each other anymore.
It's not you. You've been great. I just don't know if our relationship has been healthy for me. I know I'm the only one to blame in this; you never claimed to be anything but what you are, and I loved you for that. And lately, as you have emphasized your particular values, I have to confess that loving you has never been cheaper or easier.
However, in the last few months, sneaking off to see you has left me feeling guilty every time. I try to pretend I'm only an acquaintance, and sometimes even lie about our trysts. I can't do that anymore.
You've been great, Micki. Really. But my life is taking me down new roads. And you can't come with me this time.
I'm really sorry. But we're through. If we cross paths in the future, it's okay to wave, or say hi. But we can never be this close again.
Know that you will always have a quarter-pound of my heart.
Your special sauce,
Dave
P.S. If you see your sister Wendy, tell her I need to talk to her, okay?
My dearest Micki D,
We've been together for...ever, really. As long as I can remember, you've been a part of my life. When I was a child, I used to beg my parents to let me go to your house, because lunch with you made me happy, and you always shared your toys.
As I grew, my appetite for your companionship grew as well. My love for you was super-sized, and your affect on me multiplied. Sometimes, in high school, my busy schedule with work and sports kept us from seeing each other so often, and the lack of companionship was as plain to see.
But with college, and especially in the early part of my post-college career, our relationship was renewed, and it deepened daily. I'd stop by and see you in the mornings on my way to work, and sometimes immediately after work, on my way home. You welcomed me at your window, and bestowed your paper-wrapped presents on me.
This affection we shared grew to a deep love, freely refilled day by day. And it's been great, Micki. Really. Believe me when I say, I'm lovin' it.
But something has happened to me. I've started making changes in my life. And I have to confess--I just don't think we can see each other anymore.
It's not you. You've been great. I just don't know if our relationship has been healthy for me. I know I'm the only one to blame in this; you never claimed to be anything but what you are, and I loved you for that. And lately, as you have emphasized your particular values, I have to confess that loving you has never been cheaper or easier.
However, in the last few months, sneaking off to see you has left me feeling guilty every time. I try to pretend I'm only an acquaintance, and sometimes even lie about our trysts. I can't do that anymore.
You've been great, Micki. Really. But my life is taking me down new roads. And you can't come with me this time.
I'm really sorry. But we're through. If we cross paths in the future, it's okay to wave, or say hi. But we can never be this close again.
Know that you will always have a quarter-pound of my heart.
Your special sauce,
Dave
P.S. If you see your sister Wendy, tell her I need to talk to her, okay?
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
No Iron Man? FINE. How about a Superman?
Since the legal powers-that-be removed the flippin sweet IM2 footage from the internets, here's a recap of the previous season of "Smallville"--in case you were curious what the CW's longest-running series is up to.
Friday, August 07, 2009
Better than Ashley Simpson doing a jig.
I'm gonna break what is generally considered a cardinal rule among elite bloggers. The one that goes, "Don't blog your dreams, because no one really cares." (That's never stopped me before, however.) So here we go:
====
I'm the lead singer of a alterna-rock band, think Collective Soul or something college-rocky. We're doing a live concert in this gorgeous auditorium, similar to the one in "School of Rock," with the balcony and everything. Large venue. This concert is being produced by Janet Jackson and Randy Jackson (the Idol judge, who in my mind has always been an extant member of the Jackson 5). The concert is also being simulcast live on the internet.
It's near the end of the show, and I'm doing the lead singer banter bit, thanking the Jacksons for setting up the event, and teasing them a little. I think i actually made the joke, "Keep it down you two, or we're turning this concert around and going home." But I'm the affable lead singer, so everyone laughed.
We're taking a short break, because I can see on the monitors that display the broadcast that there's a quick commercial for another band playing a future show. The band is called "O. A. F." which I mock quietly (but audibly) by crossing my eyes, and saying "Oaf!" Another laugh. Finally, we're "live" again, so I say something like, "Okay, let's go!"
The music starts. Typical pop-rock radio fare. Except... I don't remember the words. So I start coughing to cover it up. The problem is, there's a voice track to "boost" my vocals, and it's playing while I'm coughing. After the longest ten seconds of my career, as I'm gesturing with a finger across the throat to cut it off, the music ends. The band is embarrassed. Randy and Janet angrily storm out the side door of the auditorium. And I'm there, up front, amid the catcalls and boos. People are getting up to leave, laughing. One guy holds up his iPhone and says, "Dude, this clip is up all over the internet!"
Here's where it gets odd: I ignore the hisses and say something like, "Okay, okay, hang on, everybody! Come back, I wanna say something." People stop walking out, standing in the aisles, shushing a few talkers. Everyone's waiting for an explanation.
I go on to say something like, "Yes, I was using a vocal backing track tonight. I'm sorry if that seems like cheating. There are various reasons why a singer would do that. For example, maybe he's sick, and can't hit his usual notes. Maybe he's having trouble remembering a new song. Maybe...maybe he's just afraid of letting people down. I was. I wanted to give you guys the best show I could. We all do--that's what we do every night. We don't take this for granted, guys. We love playing music and making you happy, and we bust our tails every night to put on a good show, because we know that's what you want.
"I know I let you down tonight. But I want to make it up to you. So, here, gimme this--" At this point, I walk back to the guitar tech and take an acoustic guitar from his hand. As I'm walking back I grab a stool from near the drum kit, and plant myself in front of the mic. "No gimmicks, no machines. Just you and me."
The audience starts to filter back to their seats. Some leave, but most stay, confused and curious what will come next. I look over my shoulder at the dumbstruck band. "You guys can go grab some dinner in the dressing room; I'm good here."
Then I proceed to play an acoustic set. Our songs, covers, stuff I didn't even know if I knew well enough. And the crowd slowly warms up, until we're all singing along, having a great time.
Then I wake up.
=====
A bizarre version of the "embarrassed in front of a crowd" dream. Maybe subconsciously, I'm reassuring myself that, if I fail, I can fail spectacularly and still keep people happy. Or maybe I'm just nuts.
We report, you decide.
====
I'm the lead singer of a alterna-rock band, think Collective Soul or something college-rocky. We're doing a live concert in this gorgeous auditorium, similar to the one in "School of Rock," with the balcony and everything. Large venue. This concert is being produced by Janet Jackson and Randy Jackson (the Idol judge, who in my mind has always been an extant member of the Jackson 5). The concert is also being simulcast live on the internet.
It's near the end of the show, and I'm doing the lead singer banter bit, thanking the Jacksons for setting up the event, and teasing them a little. I think i actually made the joke, "Keep it down you two, or we're turning this concert around and going home." But I'm the affable lead singer, so everyone laughed.
We're taking a short break, because I can see on the monitors that display the broadcast that there's a quick commercial for another band playing a future show. The band is called "O. A. F." which I mock quietly (but audibly) by crossing my eyes, and saying "Oaf!" Another laugh. Finally, we're "live" again, so I say something like, "Okay, let's go!"
The music starts. Typical pop-rock radio fare. Except... I don't remember the words. So I start coughing to cover it up. The problem is, there's a voice track to "boost" my vocals, and it's playing while I'm coughing. After the longest ten seconds of my career, as I'm gesturing with a finger across the throat to cut it off, the music ends. The band is embarrassed. Randy and Janet angrily storm out the side door of the auditorium. And I'm there, up front, amid the catcalls and boos. People are getting up to leave, laughing. One guy holds up his iPhone and says, "Dude, this clip is up all over the internet!"
Here's where it gets odd: I ignore the hisses and say something like, "Okay, okay, hang on, everybody! Come back, I wanna say something." People stop walking out, standing in the aisles, shushing a few talkers. Everyone's waiting for an explanation.
I go on to say something like, "Yes, I was using a vocal backing track tonight. I'm sorry if that seems like cheating. There are various reasons why a singer would do that. For example, maybe he's sick, and can't hit his usual notes. Maybe he's having trouble remembering a new song. Maybe...maybe he's just afraid of letting people down. I was. I wanted to give you guys the best show I could. We all do--that's what we do every night. We don't take this for granted, guys. We love playing music and making you happy, and we bust our tails every night to put on a good show, because we know that's what you want.
"I know I let you down tonight. But I want to make it up to you. So, here, gimme this--" At this point, I walk back to the guitar tech and take an acoustic guitar from his hand. As I'm walking back I grab a stool from near the drum kit, and plant myself in front of the mic. "No gimmicks, no machines. Just you and me."
The audience starts to filter back to their seats. Some leave, but most stay, confused and curious what will come next. I look over my shoulder at the dumbstruck band. "You guys can go grab some dinner in the dressing room; I'm good here."
Then I proceed to play an acoustic set. Our songs, covers, stuff I didn't even know if I knew well enough. And the crowd slowly warms up, until we're all singing along, having a great time.
Then I wake up.
=====
A bizarre version of the "embarrassed in front of a crowd" dream. Maybe subconsciously, I'm reassuring myself that, if I fail, I can fail spectacularly and still keep people happy. Or maybe I'm just nuts.
We report, you decide.
Monday, August 03, 2009
In case you're curious...
The old diet blog has gotten a face-lift and has been repurposed for marathon training. Also, the URL has changed, so clicky the linky to get the new one. kthxbai.
Saturday, August 01, 2009
PBB Capsule Movie Reviews: "It's Already August?!?" Edition
Don't know what to do this weekend? Here are four cinematic options, two to look for at your local indieplex, and two summer blockbusters I'm just getting around to seeing at my local $1.50 theater.
I'm gonna spare you the synopsis of each film--check out the trailer, or look it up on IMDB if you're really curious:
=====
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Rated PG-13 for awesome violence and some couple-lovin
Finally! A Wolverine feature! Wolvie's my favorite X-Men character, as he is for many fans of the comics/films. Hugh Jackman has always been the perfect mix of rage and humanity to play this frustrated, broken, violent character. In this film, he shines. It's not a great movie--clearly not a "Marvel" movie, as Will says. (Essentially, there are two production companies who put out X-Men movies; this is from the lesser of the two.) But I tell ya what--if you want a rip-roaring actioner starring your favorite clawed mutant, you could do worse. (X-Men 3.) The film itself feels rushed; I wished it spent more time with some of the other X-Men Universe characters that are introduced and quickly ushered off-screen. (Dom!) Two I really wanted to see more of were Gambit and pre-mouthzip Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds!). Looking forward to hopefully future screen-time for both characters. The one great improvement that this movie makes on past X-Men films is casting the great Liev Schrieber as Sabretooth. Seriously. Amazing actor. If you don't agree, you clearly haven't seen his work, or are incapable of recognizing talent. This dude is legit. And he brings this character so much depth and menace that he ascends to even footing with Wolvie.
Verdict: It's a popcorn movie, not necessarily a good X-Men movie, but a pretty good comic book movie and worth a rental for some great performances that transcend a weak script.
=====
Terminator: Salvation
Rated PG-13 for flesh-ripping violence and brutal robot mayhem
Just saw this tonight. Loads of fun. Here's the deal for you Terminator fans: It's no Judgment Day. Of course it isn't. T2 will always be the unattainable benchmark for this series. But T:S is better than the other two films. I was discussing this with the guys tonight--it's like the first three Terminator films were the "Judgment Day" trilogy--they all focused on preventing it from happening. In "Salvation," there was no time travel, and the whole film was about the survival of the humans. It was focused squarely on "The Resistance." And that made it less of a "Terminator" movie, perhaps, but also more entertaining as an action movie. Christian Bale is great. He's always great, and he's great in this one. He conveys John Connor's determination to carry this colossal persona and set of expectations, as much as it seems to crush him emotionally. He can't just be a soldier, or a leader; he's got to be "The One." (Similar to Harry's Potter's dilemma, I guess.) But the rest of the cast in T:S is also very capable, including Bryce Dallas Howard, Michael Ironside, and Helena Bonham Carter. (Really? Yes.)
Verdict: Big, loud CGI-fest that allows the director to play in the "Terminator" sandbox. Solid cast, good pacing, and good effects. Worth a rental for Terminator fans, or fans of the genre.
=====
Moon
Rated PG-13 (?) for manly booty and some blood
A man, alone for three years, working a mining job. Can't blame him for starting to see things. Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, an astronaut on a mining mission, in this deliberate, beautifully-shot and expertly-directed film. The clear influences are "2001" and films like "Das Boot." The film has a claustrophobic feel at times, as the main action of the story takes place on a single station, a few connected rooms. In this story, Sam is two weeks from going home to his wife and little girl, who he has not been able to talk to (on a "live" feed) in three years. Then he has an accident, and... that's all i'm going to tell you. There's a sentient computer named Gerty (voiced by Kevin Spacey) who is Sam's only company in the station--at least until... but anyway. The big "twist" of the film is revealed pretty early on, but it's not about the twist as much as the unfolding of the information, and how Sam processes it. It's really a great performance by Rockwell, who's becoming an actor I seek out at the cineplex.
Verdict: Good story (even if predictable), fantastic performance, and interesting themes with a lot of subtext worth mulling over. Check it out at the theater or on video, but definitely see it.
=====
(500) Days of Summer
Rated PG-13 for language, sexual content/dialogue, and heartbreak
"This is a story about boy meets girl... This is a story about love--but this is NOT a love story." So saith the narrator in this cleverly-written, playfully-directed, and wonderfully-acted romantic dramedy about a boy and girl and the slippery nature of love and relationships. Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are two of my favorite young(ish) actors in Hollywood, and this may be my favorite film for both of them. I will give this a deeply-felt but conditional recommendation: the film deals with love and sex in a pretty frank manner, but without being what I'd consider gratuitous, and the consequences of some of these choices are obvious. Nothing's free and easy here. And that may be one of the best elements of the movie. While there are many fanciful, stylized bits, the emotional core of the film is DEAD-ON realistic. Every decision the characters made actually made sense, based on how they were set up. In other words, there weren't out of character moments, there weren't blatantly contrived rom-com cliches, and the resolution you are given isn't common, but feels earned. I will say it without reservation: I really, really loved this movie. Not everyone will, but many of you could.
Verdict: If you can do so with clear conscience, go see this film, and pay whatever the theater asks of you, because it's worth every penny.
I'm gonna spare you the synopsis of each film--check out the trailer, or look it up on IMDB if you're really curious:
=====
X-Men Origins: Wolverine
Rated PG-13 for awesome violence and some couple-lovin
Finally! A Wolverine feature! Wolvie's my favorite X-Men character, as he is for many fans of the comics/films. Hugh Jackman has always been the perfect mix of rage and humanity to play this frustrated, broken, violent character. In this film, he shines. It's not a great movie--clearly not a "Marvel" movie, as Will says. (Essentially, there are two production companies who put out X-Men movies; this is from the lesser of the two.) But I tell ya what--if you want a rip-roaring actioner starring your favorite clawed mutant, you could do worse. (X-Men 3.) The film itself feels rushed; I wished it spent more time with some of the other X-Men Universe characters that are introduced and quickly ushered off-screen. (Dom!) Two I really wanted to see more of were Gambit and pre-mouthzip Deadpool (Ryan Reynolds!). Looking forward to hopefully future screen-time for both characters. The one great improvement that this movie makes on past X-Men films is casting the great Liev Schrieber as Sabretooth. Seriously. Amazing actor. If you don't agree, you clearly haven't seen his work, or are incapable of recognizing talent. This dude is legit. And he brings this character so much depth and menace that he ascends to even footing with Wolvie.
Verdict: It's a popcorn movie, not necessarily a good X-Men movie, but a pretty good comic book movie and worth a rental for some great performances that transcend a weak script.
=====
Terminator: Salvation
Rated PG-13 for flesh-ripping violence and brutal robot mayhem
Just saw this tonight. Loads of fun. Here's the deal for you Terminator fans: It's no Judgment Day. Of course it isn't. T2 will always be the unattainable benchmark for this series. But T:S is better than the other two films. I was discussing this with the guys tonight--it's like the first three Terminator films were the "Judgment Day" trilogy--they all focused on preventing it from happening. In "Salvation," there was no time travel, and the whole film was about the survival of the humans. It was focused squarely on "The Resistance." And that made it less of a "Terminator" movie, perhaps, but also more entertaining as an action movie. Christian Bale is great. He's always great, and he's great in this one. He conveys John Connor's determination to carry this colossal persona and set of expectations, as much as it seems to crush him emotionally. He can't just be a soldier, or a leader; he's got to be "The One." (Similar to Harry's Potter's dilemma, I guess.) But the rest of the cast in T:S is also very capable, including Bryce Dallas Howard, Michael Ironside, and Helena Bonham Carter. (Really? Yes.)
Verdict: Big, loud CGI-fest that allows the director to play in the "Terminator" sandbox. Solid cast, good pacing, and good effects. Worth a rental for Terminator fans, or fans of the genre.
=====
Moon
Rated PG-13 (?) for manly booty and some blood
A man, alone for three years, working a mining job. Can't blame him for starting to see things. Sam Rockwell plays Sam Bell, an astronaut on a mining mission, in this deliberate, beautifully-shot and expertly-directed film. The clear influences are "2001" and films like "Das Boot." The film has a claustrophobic feel at times, as the main action of the story takes place on a single station, a few connected rooms. In this story, Sam is two weeks from going home to his wife and little girl, who he has not been able to talk to (on a "live" feed) in three years. Then he has an accident, and... that's all i'm going to tell you. There's a sentient computer named Gerty (voiced by Kevin Spacey) who is Sam's only company in the station--at least until... but anyway. The big "twist" of the film is revealed pretty early on, but it's not about the twist as much as the unfolding of the information, and how Sam processes it. It's really a great performance by Rockwell, who's becoming an actor I seek out at the cineplex.
Verdict: Good story (even if predictable), fantastic performance, and interesting themes with a lot of subtext worth mulling over. Check it out at the theater or on video, but definitely see it.
=====
(500) Days of Summer
Rated PG-13 for language, sexual content/dialogue, and heartbreak
"This is a story about boy meets girl... This is a story about love--but this is NOT a love story." So saith the narrator in this cleverly-written, playfully-directed, and wonderfully-acted romantic dramedy about a boy and girl and the slippery nature of love and relationships. Zooey Deschanel and Joseph Gordon-Levitt are two of my favorite young(ish) actors in Hollywood, and this may be my favorite film for both of them. I will give this a deeply-felt but conditional recommendation: the film deals with love and sex in a pretty frank manner, but without being what I'd consider gratuitous, and the consequences of some of these choices are obvious. Nothing's free and easy here. And that may be one of the best elements of the movie. While there are many fanciful, stylized bits, the emotional core of the film is DEAD-ON realistic. Every decision the characters made actually made sense, based on how they were set up. In other words, there weren't out of character moments, there weren't blatantly contrived rom-com cliches, and the resolution you are given isn't common, but feels earned. I will say it without reservation: I really, really loved this movie. Not everyone will, but many of you could.
Verdict: If you can do so with clear conscience, go see this film, and pay whatever the theater asks of you, because it's worth every penny.
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