[Lots of little mini-posts, all pulled together for your mass-consumption. Dig in.]
I felt the need to post something arty and inspired. Sadly, I don't have anything like that, except a first-draft of another "Redux" that needs a lot of work before it's ready for online consumption. So I'm just going to free-write a little. Hope you don't mind.
--I've noticed that when I write poetry, the number "17" keeps popping up, and I have no idea why.
--I re-read the now-infamous "Application for Future Mrs. Teacherdave" post, and aside from the point about things this fictional person wasn't allowed to enjoy, I stand by all of it. So sue me. I'm gonna be picky. If I have had to wait this long (oh, i'm sorry, "have gotten to wait this long"), I may as well be a little picky about my prospects. [By the way, save your angry comments because I don't mean a bit of this--not in any real way, anyway.]
--I lost another pound and a half. I'm up to 47. Ten percent of my body weight lost in 3 months. (That's right, do the math--I really was that big. Well, for all practical purposes, I still am that big. Just not as much "that.") I'm somewhat proud of this. However, I've lost less than 10 pounds in the last month. I'm slowing down quickly. Something's gotta change. I need to stop being lazy, in other words. Because i'm still not working out at all.
--You know the whole "sappy romantic" thing is getting bad when you ask your folks if you can borrow some movies (from their midsized library, i mean, holy cow), and you walk away with the following: "Return to Me," "The Wedding Singer," "13 Going on 30," and "Just Like Heaven." All I'm missing is "Shall We Dance?" (which it pains me to admit that I liked). I'd like to blame my grabbing the middle two on the fact that I saw bits of them on TV the other night, but there's no excuse for the others. Hi, my name is Dave, and I watch "chick flicks" on a regular basis. ...They're all good films, by the way. Very enjoyable.
--Tonight's the monthly event I've been calling "Pancake Tuesday." I've tried to avoid using the name too often (for Google concerns, mainly), but basically it's a time for my Sunday School class and I to get together off-site and hang out. We usually go to Denny's because I decided we should (food's better/cheaper than IHOP). And if I'm the only one who ever shows up, I should get to make that decision.
But yes. No one has shown up to the last four, so I changed it from a weekly thing to a monthly thing. I'm hoping that will make it a little more important to someone. I don't know. I'm getting really frustrated with the complete lack of participation on the part of the Sunday School class. I'm this-close to not planning any events for May, just to see what happens, and if anyone complains. What's funny is I'm getting the random email and card from people saying that they appreciate my efforts and how I "minister" to them. Do ya, kids? Then show up to class on time, or show up to events ANY time, and make me feel better that way.
I'm getting incredibly frustrated with this situation. What's sad is, a friend of mine suggested I should start looking at churches near where I live now, downtown. Maybe some of the bigger churches with more available single ladies, hint hint. I entertained this thought for a moment or two, then immediately banished it. If I ever went to another church in order to pick up women, that would be the day my faith is dead. Seriously. May I be covered in perpetual shame if that ever happens. I responded to this friend that the downside of finding another church home is that I wouldn't be able to teach for a long time, because they wouldn't let a new member take over leadership (for good reason!). And I really feel called to teach Sunday School right now.
But sometimes, callings suck.
--Speaking of Google fears, I found out that a coworker of mine had googled and found my blog pretty easily. She read "all the time... non-stop" for about a month, then felt so guilty that she confessed it to me this week, and swore never to read again. I told her it was fine--she was going "Woody-Allen"-neurotic over it--but it still freaked me out that she found me so easily.
--I've decided that that the "Daffy-Duck-versus-the-animator" cartoon (and its Bugs Bunny counterpart) were the inception of an understanding of "meta-narrative" in the American consciousness. Discuss.
--I've also decided I'm full of crap, and like making up intellectual-sounding theories because my self-confidence is especially small, and hiding behind a veil of over-inflated intellectuality keeps me from being revealed for the boring schmo I am. Discuss separately.
--I've further decided that I use exaggerated self-deprecation in a desparate attempt to gain sympathy and fish for compliments among the soft-hearted in my readership, and that doing so gets as boring as the "melancholy act" we discussed recently. Consider and reply.
--I've finally decided that running gags and self-referential humor are only funny up to a point, and then become tiresome and rather annoying. No comments required.
--I try too hard. Yes, yes i do.
--Seriously now: I reread Ephesians the other day. Something jumped out at me like never before. In chapter 5, verse 8, Paul writes, "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light..." I may be making a big deal about a translational issue (I haven't checked other versions), but this is the way I heard it. You weren't "in" darkness or "in" light. You were darkness, but now you are light. It's not a difference of circumstances, there. When we come to Christ, when we accept his sacrifice and take on his righteousness, our very nature changes. So when we sin, we are acting like someone else, not ourselves. We are not living out of our new nature, which is obedient to Christ, but we're acting like our old nature. This does not negate the responsibility we have for our own actions; not at all. But it changes our understanding of who we are. We are saints. We are redeemed. We are light. We won't become these things "one day." By the power of Christ's redemptive work, we are these things right now. And we should live within the reality of these truths.
It's like a butterfly crawling around on its belly like a caterpillar. You think, "Stupid butterfly! You've got wings, for pete's sake!" But the butterfly says, "I can't help it, it's what I've always done. I'm just a caterpillar, given new abilities." No. You're a butterfly. You were a caterpillar, but you're not one anymore.
So says Christ to us. You are not sinners. You are saints who sin. Your nature has been replaced. You are my new creations.
Quit crawling on your bellies and fly.