Friday, April 28, 2006

The Second Annual INTERnational "Embrace the Lame" Day!!! (UPDATED: "Hall of Lame" List!)


If you don't know what "ETL" is, you clearly haven't been paying attention. For a refresher, go here.

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT: The official greeting/sign-off of ETL day is "Lame on!" Use it liberally in conversation and written communication.

Okay then, down to business.

My 2006 "ETL" List:

1) My fandom of the stupid little show "Smallville" is ever-growing. At this point, I have five different SV-related websites bookmarked, I'm an active member of the fan forum on the most popular site, and I discuss the show regularly with about four people in the real world. In fact, recently I have been working (along with dozens of other ardent fans) to decipher encoded clues and spoilers that The Powers That Be have been providing to the online SV-fan community. It's a whole lot geekier than it sounds. Like...Dungeons and Dragons geeky. (Sorry, Trav.)

2) I make collages. No, seriously. Inspired by an old friend who is an actual artist and does this well, I took to cutting out interesting words and pictures from magazines and saving them. In fact, I won't throw away a magazine now without tearing it to pieces, collecting scraps I can use. When the mood strikes me, I'll get out the shoebox of clippings and the ol' gluestick and work on something. They usually have a theme. My favorite piece is a 3' x 5' poster (actually, on the back of a Belle and Sebastian advert poster from a record shop) about the meaning of "home." I'm actually pretty proud of that one.

3) How 'bout the most obvious one? I created a bogus holiday last year and invited some online friends to participate. This year, I built it up into this big mysterious thing, because I wanted to suck all my readers in, so that we can all have fun with it. Not only was the build-up to ETL lame, but the fact that I have gotten so wrapped up in an imaginary holiday is a little lame. But what the heck. I'm enjoying myself, right? Hope you are too.

3b) When discussing this blog, I can use the phrase "my readers" without a drop of irony.

4) I still have the wrapper from the Tootsie pop last week that had the star on it. It's on my desk at home.

5) My two favorite songs on the radio right now are "Hips Don't Lie" and "Pump It." Seriously.

6) When I was a teacher, I actually painted my face blue for the Homecoming Game. Which actually explains why parents and other teachers didn't take me seriously.

7) When I listen to music at home, I sometimes close my eyes and "perform" it. This is an off-shoot of my cover-band fantasy. But not only do I sing to the imaginary audience, I will actually dance a little. Of course, not only is it "The White Man Dance", it's "The Fat White Man Dance." Lame? Or frightening? Your call.

8) On Saturday mornings, I'll watch the Disney Channel shows that air on the ABC network, as I eat my not-on-diet Cap'n Crunch (original, no berries). "The Suite Life of Zach and Cody" bugs the crap out of me, but I can almost tolerate "That's So Raven." However, "Kim Possible," "The Emperor's New School," and "Phil of the Future" are entertaining programs worth watching.

9) "The Backyardigans" is an irresistably charming children's show. Even my 8-year-old sister laughs at me for thinking this.

10) I decided last month (seven months in advance!) that I'm dressing up as Johnny Cash for Halloween. Obviously, if I don't lose a lot of weight between now and then, I'll be going as "older" Johnny Cash.

11) I don't just talk to the TV as I watch my favorite sports teams play. When I'm "watching" a Cubs game via MLB Gameday (a stat site that updates the games pitch-by-pitch), I'll actually start talking to my computer. At work. Two days ago, I was standing behind my desk, hands held over my head, mumbling at the computer monitor, "Come on, Murton, we need at least a double. Come on, brother. Show me something. Come on, baby. Lemme see some offense." Thankfully, my door was closed.

12) I haven't learned how to play guitar, but when I'm in the car listening to music, I will "strum" my fingers against the outside of my right leg in time with the music. Which, in retrospect, may not look quite right to other drivers. Especially if I make a "rock guitarist" face. Hmm.

13) I'm looking forward to diving into 3 Calvin and Hobbes collections waiting patiently on my "to-be-read" shelf. And yes, I'm counting them toward my yearly reading list.

14) While I don't have an exact count, the number of books on my "to-be-read" shelf (shelves) are running in the 40-50 range right now. I have made a promise to myself not to buy another book until I read them. Half of them. Ten of them. At least the seven or eight that have spilled beyond the second shelf.

15) I never sing "Happy Birthday" normally. Ever. I'll do a lounge singer voice, or I'll cheer, or something else stupid. But I can't ever give it a "church voice" seriousness. Just seems wrong to me.

More Lameness to come, later today!

In the meantime, if you're taking part, comment below and let me know, and I'll link you in the "Hall of Lame"! And if your post spawns others, let me know, so I can link those too!

Hall of Lame!!!!

Amanda (APT)!
Chris the Goy!
Royals Mike!
Philthy! (who even whipped up a title graphic!)
CorsiCara! (our first European ETLamer!)
Angela! (our first Canadian ETLamer!)


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