Monday, September 13, 2004


Opening Music: Here Comes Your Man, Pixies

For some reason, this song makes me really happy. Just the rhythm of it, the tune.

Three posts in one day? Aren't I an over-achiever!

I don't know why I'm still here. I feel like I'm waiting for something. It doesn't make any sense. I've done all I need to do, and it's time to go home. I'm getting hungry, and dinner isn't going to make itself.

But something's holding me back. Like I'm expecting something to happen.

And then it hits me--this is the story of my life, isn't it? My whole life spent watching the doorway, waiting for something or someone to come in and change the dynamics. Waiting for a sign, a symbol, a scarlet sigul to serve notice that it is time to begin, or to end, or to change.

But to borrow a line from Sondheim--there won't be trumpets. And it's best that I start learning that now.

(Now playing: One, U2)

I had a conversation with God yesterday. It feels strange to type that, but it's true. And the Almighty communicated to me that He was tired of me dragging my feet, when it comes to my life. And if it came down to the Almighty Foot kicking me in the butt to get me motivated, that's what would happen. So that's fun. I got the message.

In other news...

Here's some fun--a little "compare and contrast." Two snapshots. Ready? And--GO:

1. A group of people sit around a few round tables, eating lunch as a collective group. However, there are separate conversations going on in each sub-group. Subject 1 (male) makes some sort of exclamation, be it a funny voice, or laughter, or something similar, involving arm-waving or something equally amusing, causing his group to laugh. Subject 2 (female) sits at the next table, and when Subject 1 looks up at her, he finds Subject 2 smiling/laughing. "What is it?" Subject 1 asks. "Nothing. You. You make me laugh," Subject 2 responds. Subject 1 returns the smile.

2. The group is leaving. Subject 1, after talking to a few others, turns to see Subject 2 and Subject 3 (also male) walk out of the building together, having a private conversation. Subject 1, observing this, is struck with a pang of jealousy, however unfounded and unentitled. Subject 1 waits, then follows out the door. Subject 1 sees Subjects 2 and 3 walking and still talking. Subject 1, who has dabbled in psychology and the field of interpersonal communication, does not fail to notice that Subjects 2 and 3 are well-within the 3-foot perimeter of personal space, usually only reserved for intimate discussion between parties that are quite comfortable with each other. Subject 1 weakly tries to reassert his presence with a throwaway salutation: "Well, guess that's that. See ya later, kids." (Perhaps, subconsciously, Subject 1 wants to emphasize that he noticed their tete-a-tete by calling them the collective "kids.") He then walks to his vehicle, gets in, almost drives away, then decides to pause momentarily for a last look. His vivid imagination fears spying a stolen kiss, but at the same time, he has to know. Sadly, by the time he looks back, Subjects 2 and 3 have parted. Subject 1 is irritated with himself as he drives home. What business of his is it, after all?

(These are hypothetical scenarios, of course. Really.)

Here's your quiz: Is Subject 1...

A) Hopelessly trapped in "The Friend Zone", so that he unavoidably falls into a cycle of attention-derived euphoria and jealousy-fueled depression;

B) Being stupid, as he has no right to be jealous of a relationship that may or may not even exist, because he still hasn't done anything to make his own case;

C) Too insecure to consider getting into any relationship, if someone else getting attention drives him to distraction and riddles him with self-doubt;

D) Over-analyzing the situation and allowing his neuroses to get the better of him;

E) Bound-and-determined to psych himself out so that he'll be too frustrated and timid to pursue a healthy relationship with anyone ever again;

F) None of the above

G) All of the above

H) Some combination of the above (PLEASE ELABORATE IN THE SPACE PROVIDED.)

You have 50 minutes. No talking. Good luck.

(Closing Music: So Damn Lucky, Dave Matthews)

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