Wednesday, March 09, 2005

"Somtimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!"

I try to be clever here. I try to entertain.

I obsess about page stats. Hit averages. Visit lengths. Comments.

I obsess about comments the worst.

I feel almost an obligation to post. Like it's owed. Like it's required.

I enjoy doing it...most of the time.

But there are days like today, when I'm in a crappy mood, I feel horrible, and I'm tremendously stressed out, and the LAST thing I want to do is post.

Though, when I don't post, I feel a little disappointed later. Like I missed out on something.

I can't figure out which of us is more addicted to this page, you or me. I'm thinking it's me.

As I've said before, I tend to use this page as a surrogate for real honest-to-God communication. The one-way stuff is easier. I can be pissed off or selfish or whatever, and I don't have to hide it as much.

When you interact with people, you have to be nice.

I don't know what I'm getting at.

I guess the point is, I just don't have anything deep or meaningful to say right now. I'm really burnt out on pretty much most areas of my life. I don't enjoy work. I don't really enjoy being home either. Church is okay, family is okay. But nothing is really exciting to me these days. I've lost touch with my passions.

I want to write more, but I have nothing to say. What happens to Louis next? I have no idea. The scary thing is, I really don't care as much, at this moment.

I need to detach for a little while.

So, i'm going to go home tonight, jump on the stationary bike for a while, and maybe watch the film referenced in the title again.

I may come back Friday, maybe Monday.

Depends on if I have anything to say.

Love always.


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