Tuesday, December 30, 2003

"It's a dangerous time, for a heart on a wire..."

Greetings and salutations, friends. Hope your generic non-offensive holiday went off without a hitch. Unless you asked for a hitch, in which case, I hope you got your hitch.

Mine was great, thanks for asking. Lots of time with the family. Enjoyment of Mom's holiday goodies, yes quite. And wallowing in materialism like any good little child should on Christmas day. Just kidding. Somewhat.

Now, almost all the way through the in-between week, I feel...ill at ease. I missed something. Things left undone. But I don't know what.

I'm tired of living with this feeling that I've forgotten a step or two, and that the model I'm building will not come out like the picture on the box.

Is it some sort of self-doubt? Things are going great, so let's give that gift horse a thorough dental exam? Am I expecting an army of angry Greeks to crash through my gates?

I don't know. I've been here at work for over four hours now, and have gotten...well, little done. I'm just distracted, as if I'm supposed to... (fill in the appropriate simile here)

I thought perhaps, if I blogged for a while, whatever my urgent need was would come to me. So far, I'm only left with unfocused urgency.

It's weird, I got to see both of the friends from high school that still care enough to keep in touch, and hung out with them a lot this weekend, and yet now I feel more lonely than before. What is my problem?

I don't know. I'm too self-involved. I've got dear friends all around, some of whom are going through some tough times, and I'm wallowing in imaginary trouble I've created because I don't trust how nicely my life seems to be coming together. Dave the basketcase, ladies and gentlemen.

I'm sorry about this disjointed mess, guys. Dave's in a funk. It was about time for a Crows day. Here it is, black as midnight and just as cold.

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