Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Historical Blockbusters, and my lack of anything interesting to say...

Sometime the most profound thing I can say is nothing. So much for being profound.

Yesterday was the anniversary of Pearl Harbor. I saw a few tributes floating around the internet. But that was about it. Maybe I watched the wrong television programs.

3000 people die in a sneak attack, and sixty years later the most anyone knows about it, they learned from that Bruckheimer picture with Benny Trainwreck and Joshy Heartthrob.

So in the year 2058 or so, will we see a big budget blockbuster about the 9/11 attack, starring some granite-jawed superstar and a pretty-boy co-star to draw all the teenage girls to the theater? I can only imagine the cheesefest that will ensue.

*Two men running with everyone else down the stairwell of one of the towers*

"Keep going! We're almost out!" says friend.

"Wait a minute--I left the picture of my girlfriend in there!!!" says idiot friend. *runs back up the stairs*

"Noooooo!!!! Dooooooon't!!!!!" says friend. *follows idiot *

*Idiot gets himself pinned under some debris, injured, can't move; friend finds him, pulls him out, and runs down the stairs carrying idiot over his shoulder*

"We won't make it!!!!!!!" says idiot.

"We will make it!!!!!!!!! I promise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" says friend.



*Feat of heroism*


*Suspenseful almost-tripping*




*Building starts collapsing as they sprint out of lobby; impact tremor of collapsing
building throws them forward*

*As dust cloud dissipates, we find Idiot and Friend dusting themselves off, and
laughing a little, as they survived that close call*

"You want a beer?" says idiot.

"Sure" says friend.

*walk away, Friend's arm around Idiot's shoulders*



Are you visualizing this with me? Because it will happen. I'm sure of it.

Naturally the granite-jawed hero would be the friend, and the pretty-boy heartthrob would be the idiot. I can hear the squeal of the teenage girls now. "Awww, he risked his life to save his girlfriend's picture!!!! That's SOOOOO romantic!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Ugh. Kids. I shake my head at them.

I don't even know if I have anything else to say today.

Hug a veteran. No need to wait until a holiday.

That's all I got. Go home, the movie's over.

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