Tuesday, January 03, 2006

The Official 2005 PBB "Slackie" Awards Ballot!!! (PART 1)

Welcome to the official ballot for the Second Annual PBB "Slackie" Awards. This contest is a celebration of the year-in-review in pop culture and personal amusement.

Some categories will have slots where you may suggest a nominee, and each "write-in" candidate that you suggest will be considered and then summarily ignored. This way, it's like you're actually participating in the electoral process!

Let the Voting Begin!

[Note: Last year, I provided all sorts of helpful links for every category. If you used them, thanks, but I'm thinking most of you didn't. Due to time constraints, this year's ballot can't be as user-friendly. So if you need to look up something, might I suggest Google?]

Movie of the Year (extended ballot):
Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
Cinderella Man
Walk the Line
On a Clear Day
Batman Begins
40-Year-Old Virgin
The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe
Sin City
Godzilla: Final Wars

Album of the Year:
Death Cab for Cutie, Plans
Sufjan Stevens, ...Illinoise
Nickel Creek, Why Should the Fire Die?
The White Stripes, Get Behind Me Satan
Coldplay, X & Y
Switchfoot, Nothing is Sound
Over the Rhine, Drunkard's Prayer
David Crowder Band, A Collision

Book of the Year:
J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
Charles Mann, 1491
Anne Lamott, Plan B: Further Thoughts on Faith
Michka Assayas, Bono: In Conversation
Lauren Winner, Real Sex: The Naked Truth about Chastity
Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go

TV Show of the Year (returning):
Whose Line Is It, Anyway? (technically legal)
Veronica Mars
The West Wing
Arrested Development
The Office

TV Show of the Year (new):
How I Met Your Mother
Miami Ink
My Name is Earl
Everybody Hates Chris

Worst Movie Remake of the Year:
Dukes of Hazzard
Guess Who
The Honeymooners
Bad News Bears
Alone in the Dark

Underrated Artistic Endeavour of the Year (any medium):
Online Comics (specificially "Questionable Content")
The Chronic(What?)cles of Narnia Rap
Red vs. Blue
The film Elizabethtown
The musical The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee

Overrated Artistic Endeavour of the Year (any medium):
The film The Phantom of the Opera
The "careers" of Lohan/Hilton/Ritchie/Simpson (both)/Federline
Coldplay, X & Y
X-Box 360
Desperate Housewives
The musical Spamalot
The MTV music rotation
Beat Poetry
Reality television

News Event of the Year (serious):
Hurricane Katrina and government response
The London Bombings
The French riots
The continued Iraqi conflict
The multiple Iraqi elections
The ONE Campaign
The death of Pope John Paul II

News Event of the Year (ludicrous):
The marital status of Brad Pitt, Jennifer Aniston, and Angelina Jolie
The impending marriage/spawning of TomKat
The spawning of Spears and Federline
The spawning of Affleck and Garner
The rumored return of the Chappelle Show
The "runaway bride" story

Sports Story/Athlete of the Year:
The Chicago White Sox winning the World Series
Lance Armstrong wins Tour de France...again
Hockey returns
Patriots win the Super Bowl...again
Ryne Sandberg inducted into Cooperstown
How much the Texans suck

Government Screw-up of the Year:
The Iraqi War
The (ignored) illegal immigration problem
Hurricane Response (on all levels)
Unfulfilled AIDS Relief Promises
Not prosecuting Sandy Berger for stealing classified documents

Ice Cream Topping of the Year:
Hot Caramel
Hershey's Sundae Syrup
Cookie Dough
Hot Fudge
Brownie Batter (wow)

Beverage of the Year (adult):
Killian's Irish Red
Brandy Old-Fashioned
Blush Champagne (it's from espan~a)
Port (you cheeky wee donkey)
Tanqueray Gin

Beverage of the Year (non-adult):
Diet Coke with Lime
Pulp-free Orange Juice
"bizarre" energy drinks
Root Beer
Lipton Green Tea with Citrus (yummy)


No comments: