Well, you can't have it. Because I don't do "spoiler-free." At least not often. And I won't for this one.
Super Short Review:
If you have any love for Star Wars at all--
Go. See. It.
It's got the familiar goofy line readings and stilted dialogue that we loved in the originals, plus kick-tail special effects and (gasp!) actual human drama.
And Jar-Jar Binks does not say A SINGLE WORD in this one.
The ending, especially the last scene, actually gave me chills. That's never happened with SW before.
Go see it. Seriously. Go.
--An account of my theater experience up to the film's start.
--A rumination on Superman and the quest for self-knowledge.
Have a good morning.