This year, the contest rules have been updated and improved, and I think most of you will better appreciate the new set-up.
In the past, you (the readers) have suggested nominees and have voted on your favorites, but the winner has always been decided by our panel of judges--namely, me. Your cries and complaints at the injustice of this set-up have landed on deaf ears--until now.
Here's how the new system is going to work:
- Your votes will count. If at least five people vote in any given category, the majority/plurality of their votes will count toward the winner. (Less than five votes, and it's my pick, so don't blame me for low turnout.)
- One vote per person per category, please. If you give me multiple, I will only count the first. Just like "Jeopardy."
- The only exception is what I'm going to call the special "Judge's Choice" award. I will be allowed up to 3 overrides to be used when I think a vote is lopsided and a more worthy choice does not receive the award as it should. If I use the "Judge's Choice" option, I'll also list the popular favorite.
- All ties will be decided by a fair and balanced coin toss.
- Nominations do not automatically count as votes. If you want your opinion heard, vote again.
- And due to our burgeoning readership in the state, this contest is no longer "void in Wyoming." Welcome aboard, Cowboy State!
Everybody ready? Here we go:
MOVIE OF THE YEAR:
Stranger than Fiction
Snakes on a Plane
V for Vendetta
Lady in the Water
ALBUM OF THE YEAR:
"Continuum," John Mayer
"Shine On," Jet
"The Crane Wife," The Decemberists
"Cut and Move," Day of Fire
"Saturday Night Wrist," Deftones
BOOK OF THE YEAR:
"Lisey's Story," Stephen King
"Star Wars Darth Bane: Path of Destruction," Drew Karpyshyn
"Marley and Me," John Grogan
Anything by Rachel Ray
TV SHOW (RETURNING) OF THE YEAR:
How I Met Your Mother
TV SHOW (NEW) OF THE YEAR:
Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip
WORST MOVIE OF THE YEAR:
Ice Age II
An Inconvenient Truth
Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause
UNDERRATED ARTISTIC ENDEAVOR OF THE YEAR:
Trevor's Stick-figure Drawing Gallery
Guitar Hero II (PS2 video game)
PBB Cool Ten
OVERRATED ARTISTIC ENDEAVOR OF THE YEAR:
"Modern Times," Bob Dylan (music)
The Alley Theater's production of Peter Schaffer's "Black Comedy" (stage)
PBB Cool Ten
"Your Best Life Now," Joel Osteen (book)
NEWS EVENT OF THE YEAR (SERIOUS):
Democratic Party's takeover of Congress
The announcement of Star Wars Celebration IV (don't look at me, I just report it)
The execution of Saddam Hussein
THE "TomKat" PRIZE FOR MOST LUDICROUS NON-STORY NEWS EVENT OF THE YEAR:
Celebrity babies in general
Britney and Kevin Break Up!
Whatever Angelina Jolie is doing, 24 hours a day
Laura Bush's "secret" cancer treatment
SPORTS STORY OF THE YEAR:
St. Louis Cardinals--2006 World Series Champs (ugh)
Italy wins the World Cup
Ryan Howard, baseball MVP, hits 59 home runs
Shameless spending by Major League Baseball clubs
The impending dominance of the Chicago Cubs ("This year, baby!")
THE "D'Oh!" AWARD FOR BIGGEST SCREW-UP BY A GOVERNMENT/POLITICIAN:
Mark "AIM Me, hotstuff" Foley
John "Troops R Stoopid" Kerry
Merlin Feistner, Republican candidate for County Commissioner in South Dakota, who lost to his two-months-deceased Democratic opponent
THE "Paris Hilton" PRIZE FOR MOST OVER-EXPOSED LINGERING CELEBRITY(formerly called the "You're Still Here?!?" Award):
Terrell Owens, loudmouth Dallas Cowboys wide receiver
Paris Hilton (can she three-peat?)
Britney Spears (read the category, folks.)
Kevin Federline (rapper, 'rassler, overall loser)
Garfield (the cat, I guess)
THE "Your 15 Minutes are Up" AWARD FOR MOST OVER-EXPOSED NEW CELEBRITY:
Katie Blair, the sometimes-inebriated Miss Teen USA
Rob and Amber from "Survivor"
Lukas Rossi of "Rockstar Supernova" (for you haters)
BLOG OF THE YEAR:
The Daily Puppy
The Smoking Gun
Perfect Blue Buildings
Kelly's Blog (rawks yer face off)
BUFFOON OF THE YEAR:
Zidane and his World-Cup head-butt
Pat Robertson (it's practically a lifetime achievement award)
SOAP/BODYWASH OF THE YEAR:
Old Spice Hair and Body Wash
Snake Peel body scrub
Irish Spring Sport
BIRTHDAY CAKE FLAVOR OF THE YEAR:
BEVERAGE OF THE YEAR (NON-ADULT):
Vault (seriously, Mike?)
Starbucks Peppermint Mocha
Starbucks Pumpkin Spice Latte
BEST FUTURE "Slackie" (TM) AWARD CATEGORY:
Best Espresso Drink
Best Guilty Pleasure
Best "Star Wars" Action Figure
Best Rawkin' Blog
Best Video Game of the Year
FICTIONAL CHARACTER OF THE YEAR (MALE):
House, M.D. (TV--"House")
Hiro Nakamura (TV--"Heroes")
Harold Crick (Film--"Stranger than Fiction")
The Iron Lung (Stage--The "Hero Squad" Series)
Nicholai OshKoshB'Goshnikov (Stage--The "Hero Squad" Series)
Kal-El/Clark Kent/Superman (Film/TV/Comics)
FICTIONAL CHARACTER OF THE YEAR (FEMALE):
Kate Austen (TV--"Lost")
Number 6 (TV--"Battlestar Galactica")
Claire Bennett (TV--"Heroes")
Jeremy's mother (Fiction--the unfinished "typewriter" story on PBB)
Story (Film--"Lady in the Water")
YouTube VIDEO OF THE YEAR:
Stevie Wonder on "Sesame Street"
The multi-part saga of "LonelyGirl15"
The live-action stage production of "Super Mario Bros."
The SNL short, "**** in a Box"
"White and Nerdy," Weird Al Yankovic
"Must Love Jaws"
CHEESE OF THE YEAR:
"Miracle on 34th Street"
Note: All voting is still for entertainment value only, but still has bearing on actual contest results. Contest winners are decided based on the majority/plurality of reader votes, except in the case of: 1) vote totals less than 5; or 2) "Judge's Prize" vote overrides. The voting will be overseen by the PBB panel of expert judges, and all results will be verified by the accounting firm of Fine, Howard, and Fine.
All ties will be decided scientifically (a coin toss). Unlike previous years, the method of picking a number between one and ten will not be used, since most of the nominees are works of art and/or inantimate objects, and cannot pick numbers or communicate their choices.
Winners will be notified within three years via Pony Express.
The management and staff of PBB/ATDTT, Inc. waive all responsibility of any injuries, arguments, or hurt feelings that may result from this contest or the ensuing voting in the comment box. Don't say we didn't warn you. You must be at least 5 years old in order to vote in all categories. Wyoming voters are now eligible. Contest is still void in New Hampshire, since it's weird enough to practically be considered part of Canada. Suck on rejection, hosers. Maybe next year, eh?
ADDENDUM: That last comment was not in any way meant to insult or demean Canadians. Though your foreign ways are strange and frightening to us here in the civilized world, we are grateful to you for such cultural gifts as Mike Myers, Douglas Coupland, milk-in-a-bag, and "The Red Green Show." Thank you, northern neighbors.