Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Feed Your Ego

A dear friend was honest with me today. That type of thing is never fun, but it was necessary.

There's a nefarious side effect of blogging. It gets you in the habit of interacting with other people by primarily talking about yourself. This is bad enough in a normal person, but for someone in whom this trait already exists, this is bad news. It only reinforces this bad habit, making it iron-clad.

I tend to live in my head more than is probably healthy. I overthink. I ponder. I puzzle. I belabor. I revel in self-doubt, in worry, in frustration, in self-pity.

I've turned inward. And for the last several years, it has affected my relationships with family, friends, and loved ones.

During our conversation today, I shared a long, involved personal story. This story involved my admitting that my self-focus hurt a very important relationship in my life. And at the end of the story, my kind friend gently pointed out that I'm still doing it. I've learned nothing.

And that's absolutely true. I was struck by the obviousness of it.

Just call me Captain Oblivious.

[By the way, the irony of a post talking about one's own self-involvement has been duly noted, yes.]

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