Tuesday, August 30, 2005

in the interest of self-disclosure

We'll call this the R.A.Q. Recently Asked Questions. Some of them are real, others are my attempt at humor. Pity laughs will be accepted.

Q. Dave, why "Perfect Blue Buildings"?
A. It's a song from one of my favorite bands of all time, Counting Crows. It comes from their first album. All of the headings of my links sections are phrases from that song.

Q. When are you going to update the website?
A. Actually, I'm looking into a major update (and possibly domain change) in the next few months. I'll keep you posted on those developments.

Q. Will you post a picture of yourself?
A. No.

Q. Why not?
A. Because.

Q. That's not a good reason.
A. Tough beans.

A. Look, I'm not that photogenic. If you must have something to picture when you're talking to me, I have dark hair, blueish eyes, a red goatee, and Elvis Costello glasses. And I shop at Big and Tall stores. There you go. All you need to know.

Q. So what do you do for a living?
A. I work for a major cancer research center on the Gulf Coast. I edit and proofread patient consent forms for research studies--the forms that explain what the new drugs do, what tests are required for the study, the risks, the benefits, and so forth.

Q. Are you ever going to post another chapter of "Taylor House"?
A. I hope to. I don't want to give up on the project. Right now, I'm not only try to figure out where the novel's plot is going; I'm trying to figure out where my own plot is going. Hopefully, in the meantime, I'll get some more written. Really. I'll try. Promise.

Q. Why do you post the Cool Ten?
A. Because otherwise, this blog would be full of really crappy two-line posts about stuff you don't generally care about (e.g. the Cubs, Smallville, my weekend activities). This way, I get it all out of the way at once. Mostly.

Q. Do you have a girlfriend?
A. No, but I am accepting applications. Just kidding. No, really. Be cool. (The last time I joked about "the future Mrs. TeacherDave", it turned into a big thing.) But seriously, no, I haven't found the right girl yet. Not for the lack of looking. Maybe that dating book will be useful for something after all. Heh.

Q. Do you have an IM name?
A. Sure I do.

Q. What is it, then?
A. ...I don't know if I want to give it out too much. I don't get enough work done as it is.

Q. Fine. Anything else we need to know?
A. Do you like to play "Questions Only"?

Q. What does that mean?
A. What do you think it means?

Q. Wha-- Nevermind.
A. HA! Statement! One-nil!

Q. What are you talking about?
A. Why do you ask?

Q. You're not making any sense.
A. HA! Another statement. Two-nil!

Q. Why do I bother?
A. Foul! Rhetoric! That's game.

Q. I'm never coming back here again.
A. In the words of the eminent philosopher, Bob Dylan, "don't think twice, it's all right."

No comments: