Rah rah sis boom bah

Yes, that's right, kids, football season is well underway. Down here in the Lone Star State, high school sports takes on an almost religious quality, as our school's warriors march up and down the field of battle, giving and receiving punishment. When they succeed, we cheer madly, enraptured; when they are crushed by the evil forces that oppose them, we weep, we cry out in anger, we question all that is good in the universe. Then we go to Denny's for dinner.

Homecoming being an especially event in the spectacle of all that we call high school football, it takes on a life of its own, bestowing ordinary mortals with god-like qualities. New royalty is crowned, and instantly they receive an added aire of grace and beauty. Gridiron heroes join the pantheon of sports icons, by performing legendary acts of skill and bravery. Band members can change their stars for one week, becoming heroes and pals instead of the joke that they are made into by everyone else, all year long.

Ah, football! Ah, humanity!

By the way, we lost 57-6 at Homecoming. We scored first, then they began putting the hurt on us. It was tough to watch, my friends. Really really tough.