Monday, February 20, 2006

"That's the way it goes, it'll all work out."

For those of you keeping score at home:

February's lessons are hitting me hard and fast. I'm trying to keep up, trying to make sense, trying to absorb and adapt.

I've learned that I'm plagued by trying, but rarely by accomplishing.

I've learned that I can be blind to the depth of my own emotions; or if not blind, willfully ignorant.

I've learned that I can let selfishness and pettiness drive me to hurt the ones I love, most often by the words I speak. And type. Especially, type.

I've learned that I'm still very far away from being made perfect. Or even good.

I've learned that doing the right thing, whether in finances or relationships, is never fun but always necessary.

I've learned that lapsing in my commitment to change causes greater steps backward than I expected. There is no stasis in such ventures: only moving forward, or moving backward.

I've learned that sometimes, despite our best efforts otherwise, we can still become better than we are, bit by bit.

I've learned that it's easier to act like a child than an adult, and that "easy" is a fool's token.

I've learned that your friends show you so much more grace than you ever deserve.

I've learned that God shows you infinitely more grace than your friends do.

I've learned that I can be hopeful in spite of my own failings.


Well, my hand is cramping and my blue-book is full. Time to grab my backpack and head out the door. I get the feeling that there's nothing but pop-quizzes from now until the end of the term.

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