Thursday, July 27, 2006

Recap of "RockStar" Elimination Episode: In which I call 'shenanigans.'

Open Letter to Supernova:

Dear Supernova (a.k.a. Gilby "No-Humps" Clarke, "Hatchet Man," and Mr. "Crush It"),

Are you freaking kidding me? Phil?!? But, but, but...

Okay, you said, in week TWO, that Chris hitting the bottom three twice in a row was a sign that he needed to move on. You said you couldn't ignore that. You promised.

Zayra has been in the bottom three, um, let's see--twice? Three times? And yet somehow, she still escapes???

I mean, let's look at the performances of Patrice, Phil, and Zayra.

Patrice: Ripped Radiohead's "My Iron Lung" up. Awesome, intense, fun performance. Showed some life and bought herself another week. Good call--she earned another chance.

Phil: Took a song that no one had heard of, and had everyone singing along by the last chorus. He threw in a few head bobbles, again, but he controlled himself better. And his intensity was right up there.

Zayra: Gutsy song choice, choosing a slow simmering tune instead of something harder and more rock (LIKE YOU'VE BEEN ASKING FOR). And considering how you KEPT SAYING HOW SONG CHOICE WAS VITAL, and kicked Matt off the first week because you don't freakin like Duran Duran, I was suprised you didn't take issue.

Granted, her performance was right on. But did you even listen to the lyrics? "Free me, leave me/Watch me as I'm going down/Free me, see me/Look at me, I'm falling and I'm falling." Am I the only one who said to myself, "She's giving a knock-out farewell performance"?

You even said, "This may be the last time you perform on this show." You got my hopes up, Gilby. She gave a beautiful, well-turned-out, still-wrong-for-Supernova farewell performance.

I mean, okay. I get it. You wanted to send a message to the rockers by cutting Phil, not because he performed badly but because you don't like his attitude or his work ethic. Meanwhile, you allow Zayra--a performer who you've been at odds with stylistically the WHOLE FREAKING TIME--to remain. That's what we call, "mixed signals."

You could have given Phil a stern warning, and let him stay another week, because he friggin' earned it. But no. For some inexplicable reason, you let someone stay whom EVERYONE IN THE FREE WORLD EXCEPT FOR HER realizes would never ever ever ever ever EVER be right for your band.

"Shenanigans," Supernova. And, SHAME!

No rock horns up--I say 'good day',

Dave

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