Thursday, January 12, 2006

"But I keep on a-comin' here, standing in this state..."

[intro music: "Galaxie," Blind Melon]

"Why no posts, Dave? It's been three days."

Yes it has. Three long days. This week hasn't started off great, mainly due to my attitude and lack of work ethic. Things I'm slowly working on.

I've been reading a book about godly disciplines. If you are not now aware, be forewarned: reading such books is a most dangerous practice. An unforeseen (though allegedly expected) result being, it actually starts affecting how you behave.

Slowly. Ever slowly. But affecting, nonetheless.

Last night, I read about disciplines of integrity, tongue, work, and perserverance. Here's what is happening within me as a result:

--I have been again confronted with the fact that when I spend hours, literal hours, surfing the web and not working, I am stealing company time. That's not an overstatement. It's the truth. That must end. I will not be a thief.

--I have been again confronted with the fact that I sometimes use words as weapons, or worse yet, machines to manipulate the emotions of others for my own ends. This realization has caused me to want to start speaking more carefully and circumspectly, both aloud and in print.

--I have been again confronted with the fact that I am in many things a quitter. I allow myself to become easily discouraged, at which point my overbearing emotions take over. By the time I have to buckle down and accomplish a list of things, I'm in too sad a state to focus on anything. This realization has caused me to want to commit to growing in perserverance, diligence, and self control. My emotions and laziness must not be my masters.

What do these resolutions and realizations mean vis a vis this website?

Hopefully, it means that I'll be a little more careful about what I post here. Not in a censorious way, necessarily, though I think that may occur to some extent. But hopefully, my words will become a little more profitable than the great gales of hot air I sometimes belch out in this venue.

It means that I may post a little less often, since I am committing to not abuse my job's flexibility and the availability of "free" internet. Most often, I'll be posting during lunch or after hours. If I find I have something really important to say, I'll wait and type it up at night, and bring it in to upload the next day. This may also help with the whole "circumspect speech" area as well.

I don't intend to change the style or substance of this blog, so nobody freak out or anything. But if changes come to pass, I hope they will be changes for the better, because that's the type of change I'm pursuing personally.

[ending music: "Dumptruck," Blind Melon]

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