This may be a bit pointed--but it's still pretty dead-on and good for a chuckle.
You Might Be Emerging If...
Almost half of it applied to me--does that make me half-emergent?
(hat-tip: Team Redd)
"And I am a writer, writer of fictions / I am the heart that you call home / And I've written pages upon pages / trying to rid you from my bones..." -- "The Engine Driver" by The Decemberists