"Oh, no, not I...I will survive..."

All my stern language about the inherent evils of reality television comes crashing back down on me, and I am undone.

Survivor All Stars is on. Let the gloriously snarky games begin.

You know, I'll ammend all my reality TV bashing. "All reality television is bogus--except All-Star Survivor."

I'm so pathetic.

So yes. Episode One was very very interesting. I missed the beginning and had to kinda catch up, but here's the dilly-yo:

--Instead of two teams of eight, there are three teams of six.

--Until the first challenge, no team knew who had been chosen, and who was on each team. I don't think they even knew there were more than two teams.

--It's a whole new ballgame. The naive trust of each player's first game is long gone. One player noted to his teammates, "I can't trust *any* of you people."

--Richard is evil. We knew it before. Apparently, he became more cocky (stop laughing) and more manipulative since Season One. I'm praying for his exit, just to enjoy the look on his face.

--Richard instituted "Naked Gay Man" already. Geez. Didn't take long.

--My sentimental favorites: Rudy (who is still the man), Rupert, Farmer Tom, and Susan (who is still a raging bee-otch). Odds are, none of them will survive. But that's okay. Cuz as long as Richard, Jerri, and Jersey Rob don't win, it's all good.

--Tina, during Tribal Council, noted that each season's winner has a big bull's-eye on their chest, that revenge and envy is a very important motivator for the other players. Truer words were never uttered. Tina, the tribe has spoken--you're the first Castaway thrown off Survivor All-Stars. Now you can go home and console yourself with your million dollar winnings.

*****

I'm such a Survivor ho.