Vacation Story # 4--Being an Usher is Difficult

It shouldn't be, but it is.

I was struck with panic as I rehearsed my part of the wedding ceremony. It should have been simple, but grew more and more complex as we went along. And I panicked, because I didn't want to ruin the wedding of the person I consider my closest friend.

But I made it through, alright. Calmed by hope, encouraged by the notion of my two friends being so very happy, and distracted by the sight of the most beautiful woman in the world, wearing a sleeveless "little black dress."

Yes. The most beautiful woman in the world. A perfect physical specimen of the Human Female. With gorgeous eyes and a soft voice. I was enamored with her from the first moment I met her four years ago. But never in a serious or motivating way, because I never to this day have had a snowball's chance with her. I'm not being self-deprecating, i'm being completely honest. She would be Webster's definition of a "knock-out." But for all my chances, I might as well have been asking Mrs. Potter to climb down off that movie screen. I still think she's outstanding. And the sweetest girl you could meet. The man who wins her heart will be blessed, all the days of his life. But that's neither here nor there. Let's just say, I had to employ a fellow usher to keep me from staring the whole time. Cuz really, who wants to be the "creepy staring guy"?

As to the wedding itself, it was the most beautiful, God-filled wedding I have ever seen. It was like being at a spiritually-moving church service, you just love everyone afterwards. And Josh and Tiff were so happy. They wrote their own vows. Josh let me preview his, both the first draft and the last. And they were great. Every man is a poet when he pours out his heart to his bride, and Josh was no exception. And I cried. Yes, I can admit I did. It was one of the most Beautiful things I've ever experienced. Even more than seeing the girl in the black dress.

And I ushed perfectly, if I do say so myself. Didn't trip the mother of the groom or anything.