Vacation Story #2--Who's that Girl? Oh. It's Josh.

We dressed up my friend in hunter green stockings (like men in TIGHT tights), a dirty, holey white tank-top undershirt (or "wife-beater" for you Springer fans). They (we minus me)took turns covering his face with make-up, until he looked scarier than a two-dollar callgirl. From Ponca City. And then we all went out to eat.

"They" being Josh's frat brothers. They allowed me into their meeting room for the first time ever. Like Geraldo opening the mummy's tomb, except I found something. Several of them were my friends of old, who returned for the occasion. The occasion being the advent of Josh's impending nuptuals.

We went to Chili's. Waited outside for fifteen minutes. Talked. I walked over to the Blockbuster next door to talk to my friend who worked there. She was happy to see me. She was graduating soon. She was going to be living in a town near my hometown for the summer. She wanted my phone number so we could hang out, and so she'd have a place to crash if she got too drunk in Houston. I gave her my number. I don't know why.

There was a time when I found her moderately attractive, and likely would have made out with her if given the opportunity. I don't know why that was, either.

While now I have more sense than to ever do that, I still didn't have enough sense to avoid giving this person my home phone number. I don't know why.

I returned to the group. We were finally seated. We were assigned the only non-attractive waitress in the restaurant. She fed us lots of tortilla chips. She took our orders. We ate more tortilla chips. For the next hour. Finally the food was served. My chicken fried steak was over done. Nuclear waste. Needed a hacksaw. I informed the waitress at the end of the meal, politely. She offered a replacement, but I was too full. From all the chips. So I declined hoping she'd give me some sort of discount, the only decent thing to do in that situation. She didn't.

We left. Went to someone's apartment. Watched DVDs of the Family Guy and did nothing. I waited for a phone call from a friend who wanted to hang out. I changed clothes, expecting her to call. She didn't.

It was just like you were there, wasn't it.