Thursday, September 17, 2009

Tired of Being Sorry

It's a pretty good song by Ringside (later covered by Enrique Iglesias).

Anyway.

I know I'm not blogging the way I said I would. I want to. I want to give you witty movie reviews, a description of my recent karaoke and drive-in experiences, maybe some discussion on what I've been thinking about lately. General bloggy goodness, in other words.

But...I don't know. I think i've grown impatient with trying to draw out the words. I sit down to write a blog post, and almost immediately get overwhelmed by the idea of going over all the details, re-reading it to make sure I didn't make any big grammatical or logical mistakes, polishing up the phrasing. I guess I'm just getting incredibly lazy, when typing a blog post is too daunting some days. Dickens and Shakespeare would roll their eyes in utter disgust.

I'm not a writer anymore. I guess I just have to admit that. And that...really sucks. Because I love stories, and I love telling stories. Being a writer is part of how I self-identify. Or was. For years, I've seen myself as a writer, if lately a back-slidden one.

Now? I don't know what I am. I still want to be a writer. I loved writing, once. I don't know what's happened to change that. Maybe working with words day after day has started to turn me away from it all.

I'm making excuses.

Here's the bottom line: I want to blog. I do... but I don't. So I'm gonna blog when I can, how I can, if I can.

4 comments:

LeLe said...

I feel the same way.

Jaimie said...

I know working with words every day drains your writing side. It would for me.

B Lines said...

Having the same problem. Grasping for something worthy of reading. Hang in there. Everything YOU write is cool.

Kelly said...

Your job involves editing. Of course you don't want to write sometimes. You spend all day editing others writing. It makes sense.

I love watching movies but being a theater manager makes you sometimes want to stay as far away from your theater as possible. On my days off sometimes I consider seeing movies with Jill and Hayden.

Then I think "Nope. Because if I go to the theater, I will just see stuff that pisses me off and it will ruin the movie for me. "

That is how jaded I have become with a simple movie going experience. Sometimes we go to the local dollar movie theater just simply because its not my theater and I can relax so much better.

Sorry I hijacked your comment box for my own self loathing.