It's time to pull the plug...

I just got off the phone with the cable company. I am downgrading from DirecTV Total Choice Plus to Basic Plus. Goodbye, 100+ channels. Goodbye, nifty channelsurfing menu with the picture-in-picture type window showing what's on the currently selected channel. Goodbye, neato remote that feels so powerful in my hands, like a modern claymore slashing through network dreck.

Hello, local channels, A&E, CNBC, TBS, Fox Family, and Headline News.

It was time. I don't watch TV enough to justify having "the good cable". And when I do watch enough TV to justify it, it's because I'm not doing enough of the other things I should. Like, you know, laundry and vacuuming and taking down my Christmas tree (which is still up, by the way; if I keep it up any longer, I'll give the Shawnee "Mafia House" a run for its money).

And I realized that the temptation of "the good cable" was to watch things that weren't doing me any good.

And I further realized that I cannot be a writer and a TV zombie at the same time. It can't happen. Less TV means that when I'm bored, I'll pick up a book, or a pen and paper. Or, you know, dirty laundry.

It's funny how hard it was for me to give up "the good cable". I mean, really really hard. If that seems pathetic to you, and you are living on your own as I am, try unplugging it. Or, in some cases, unplugging the modem. Or the PS2. That uncomfortable eye twitch that you're developing--that's what I'm talking about.

So yeah. Since the only show I ever watch with any regularity is Ed (the best show on network television, for my money), I decided that I didn't need much more than basic.

And now I'm...sad, frankly. And ashamed, because I'm sad. TV shouldn't have meant this much to me.

I'm not brave enough to go cold turkey. And I don't think I have to. I think this will be enough. For a while.

Perhaps, down the road, I'll be strong enough to control myself, and not become a cable junkie again. But when you feel like you need a fix this bad, it's time to stop.

So to give myself (and any brave soul out there who may do something similar) some encouragement, I present, in conclusion, the wise words of one of the most foolish bands around.

"Throw Away Your Television" by Red Hot Chili Peppers

Throw away your television
Time to make this clean decision
Master waits for its collision now
It?s a repeat
Of a story told
It?s a repeat
And it?s getting old

Throw away your television
Make a break big intermission
Recreate your super vision now
It?s a repeat
Of a story told
It?s a repeat
And it?s getting old

[chorus:]
Renegades with fancy gauges
Slay the plague for it?s contagious
Pull the plug and take the stages
Throw away your television now

Throw away your television
Take the noose off your ambition
Reinvent your intuition now
It?s a repeat
Of a story told
It?s a repeat
And it?s getting old

[chorus]

Throw away your television
Salivate to repetition
Levitate this ill condition now
It?s a repeat