Thursday, October 14, 2004

24

(Before I begin, I should mention that there will be no political discussion today. Last night's debate was fine. No matter whom you support, you believe your guy did great. So whatever. As long as you vote in less than three weeks, whatever.)

Now, to the relevant business at hand.

First, some song lyrics (apologies to mike) and then some thoughts.

Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day

Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was
twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty-four strong
See, I'm not copping out, not copping out, not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now

And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I want to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me

I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You

And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.

I'm not copping out.
Not copping out.
Not copping out.

("24" by Switchfoot)

Last night, I was thinking about growing up. I remember, as a child, I would always look forward to birthdays with this sense of barely-contained anticipation. Birthdays means parties, friends, cake (CAKE!), presents, fun. Birthdays were times of acceptance and love, times when I wasn't in trouble or grounded or disappointing to my parents. When it was my birthday, everyone was proud of me, and liked me, and wanted to be my friend.

As this birthday approached, the sense of anticipation was gone. I've noticed that I would always bring up that my birthday was coming. It's next month. It's next week. It's in three days. It's tomorrow. It's today.

I've noticed that no one else seems to get excited about their birthday. None of my friends do. It's like, they've all reached that age threshold where being excited about your own birthday is a childish thing.

But I do that. I act childish sometimes (though I call it "childlike" because it sounds better). I get excited about small things like cartoons and cake (CAKE!) and new clothes. I actually pointed out to the people at SunSco that I got a new tire on my truck, as a practical present from the fam. They were unimpressed. I'm embarrassed to admit now that I even did this, but I did.

But as I sat last night, I wondered what would have happened if I hadn't been so verbal about my upcoming day. Some people would have known, surely. People outside my family. But I started second-guessing myself, wondering if I made it a bigger deal than it would have been.

(This is not a guilt-trip or compliment-fishing post, don't worry. It gets better.)

And this led to a re-evaluation of my life to this point. I felt let down, to be honest, though there was no reason to feel that way. And the Spirit began reminding me to count my blessings. And I named them, one by one. Family. Friends. Internet friends. Church family. Good job. Living on my own. Good health. Education. Opportunity. And then he brought out the big one.

Redemption.

Yes indeed. If nothing else was right or fair in my life, I have been redeemed from the destruction of my body and soul by the blood of a Savior I had turned my back on by my sin. Though I was a sinner, Christ died for me. And now, I have communion with the Creator of the Universe, the Giver of all good gifts.

I had to repent my dissatisfaction. And then I prayed for contentment, because "all these things" had been added unto me.

I'm 24 years old today. It's true that the childlike joy of birthdays is slipping away. I had to come in to work today, and it's been one of the most hectic, stressful days of the past several weeks. But my friends here at work took me to lunch, which was really nice.

And I have realized that God replaces the boundless joy and eager anticipation of the birthdays in our youth, with a sense of appreciation and circumspection as we mature. As we get a little older, we realize on our birthday that our lives have been blessed, if for no other reason than because the Father of lights chose to become Our Father Who Art in Heaven (hallowed be His name).

"I'm the second man now." Redemption, renewal, and hope are the presents I unwrap day by day.

Happy birthday to me, indeed.

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